Sunday, April 30, 2006
Driving Conditions / Les conditions routières
M. le Président,
Mon discours aujourd'hui s'adressent aux conducteurs d'automobile en Ontario et au Québec. Je voudrais bien savoir comment les ministères de transport respectifs ont pu certifier certains de ces crétins à conduire une voiture, machine de puissance avec la capacité de tuer. Enfin, je me réfère à mes propres expériences récentes sur les autoroutes de ces deux grandes provinces ... dans deux voies de circulation en même temps, pas de signales, rouler à 170km/h.
Mr Speaker, my question is directed to the Minister of Transportation. What is his department doing to ensure the safety of all Canadians on this country's highways and thoroughfares? When will the government start working toward a training standard among the provinces to ensure that drivers from Alberta and Saskatechwan driving on Ontario roads must abide by the same rules? How does the Minister intend to respond to the increasing number of fatalities due to traffic accidents?
[P.S. I have to apologize to all Quebec drivers ... I thought they had the monopoly on bad driving until I came back home to Ontario this weekend and realized that we in fact seem to possess some of this country's worst. Just goes to show that we have to be the best (or worst) at everything ...]
Mon discours aujourd'hui s'adressent aux conducteurs d'automobile en Ontario et au Québec. Je voudrais bien savoir comment les ministères de transport respectifs ont pu certifier certains de ces crétins à conduire une voiture, machine de puissance avec la capacité de tuer. Enfin, je me réfère à mes propres expériences récentes sur les autoroutes de ces deux grandes provinces ... dans deux voies de circulation en même temps, pas de signales, rouler à 170km/h.
Mr Speaker, my question is directed to the Minister of Transportation. What is his department doing to ensure the safety of all Canadians on this country's highways and thoroughfares? When will the government start working toward a training standard among the provinces to ensure that drivers from Alberta and Saskatechwan driving on Ontario roads must abide by the same rules? How does the Minister intend to respond to the increasing number of fatalities due to traffic accidents?
[P.S. I have to apologize to all Quebec drivers ... I thought they had the monopoly on bad driving until I came back home to Ontario this weekend and realized that we in fact seem to possess some of this country's worst. Just goes to show that we have to be the best (or worst) at everything ...]
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Living in a (censored) democracy
Mr. Speaker,
The rights that Canadians enjoy with respect to access of information is unparalled in North America and throughout the world. This right is both a priceless strength to this country and a heavy burden. How does one weight the costs of allowing the freedom of the press against the risk of that same freedom becoming abused? Where do the privacy rights of the individual prevail over the collective rights of access to information?
Today, the Honourable Prime Minister and the Minister of Defence made a decision that severly limits the right of access to information by the Canadian public with regard to Canada's involvement in the international campaign against terrorism. How does the Prime Minister justify this decision? Earlier this week, he told the families of our fallen Canadian soldiers that he would no longer pay hommage to the supreme sacrifice that these individuals are called to make for their country by lowering the flag to half mast. Now he is telling us that we are going to burry them in silence.
My question, Mr. Speaker, is this: what is the value of one life? If it had been an elected official to die in Afghanistan, would the passing have gone equally unheeded? Do these soldiers, no matter how many die, not deserve the same consideration as any other public servant? Yes, they knew the risks. Yes, they face life and death situations on a continual basis. Yes, more will undoubtedly sacrifice their lives in the line of duty. But how will we choose to honour their sacrificies? By hiding their bodies behind closed doors, by not asking the questions that must be asked?: "Why are they being called to give their lives? Why must Canada be involved in this war against terrorism?" How can Canadians be expected to quietly look the other way as their comrades die without being told WHY?!
Mr. Speaker, this is not a time for silence but a time for dialogue. We have seen that the terrorists against whom we are fighting have no difficulties broadcasting their message of hate far and wide, and at the same time, we see their numbers swell. At the same time, we in Canada sit in silence about our role internationally, and our small number dwindles. Draw your own conclusions.
So Mr. Speaker, I ask the Prime Minister and the Minister of Defence once again ... in fact, I plead with them on behalf of our soldiers who have no voice! Does our message of peace and order not merit being heard? On the contrary, should we not be screaming it from the tops of the highest mountains? How many more need die before this government wakes up to the fact that censoring will never bring about stability and peace in the region?!
The rights that Canadians enjoy with respect to access of information is unparalled in North America and throughout the world. This right is both a priceless strength to this country and a heavy burden. How does one weight the costs of allowing the freedom of the press against the risk of that same freedom becoming abused? Where do the privacy rights of the individual prevail over the collective rights of access to information?
Today, the Honourable Prime Minister and the Minister of Defence made a decision that severly limits the right of access to information by the Canadian public with regard to Canada's involvement in the international campaign against terrorism. How does the Prime Minister justify this decision? Earlier this week, he told the families of our fallen Canadian soldiers that he would no longer pay hommage to the supreme sacrifice that these individuals are called to make for their country by lowering the flag to half mast. Now he is telling us that we are going to burry them in silence.
My question, Mr. Speaker, is this: what is the value of one life? If it had been an elected official to die in Afghanistan, would the passing have gone equally unheeded? Do these soldiers, no matter how many die, not deserve the same consideration as any other public servant? Yes, they knew the risks. Yes, they face life and death situations on a continual basis. Yes, more will undoubtedly sacrifice their lives in the line of duty. But how will we choose to honour their sacrificies? By hiding their bodies behind closed doors, by not asking the questions that must be asked?: "Why are they being called to give their lives? Why must Canada be involved in this war against terrorism?" How can Canadians be expected to quietly look the other way as their comrades die without being told WHY?!
Mr. Speaker, this is not a time for silence but a time for dialogue. We have seen that the terrorists against whom we are fighting have no difficulties broadcasting their message of hate far and wide, and at the same time, we see their numbers swell. At the same time, we in Canada sit in silence about our role internationally, and our small number dwindles. Draw your own conclusions.
So Mr. Speaker, I ask the Prime Minister and the Minister of Defence once again ... in fact, I plead with them on behalf of our soldiers who have no voice! Does our message of peace and order not merit being heard? On the contrary, should we not be screaming it from the tops of the highest mountains? How many more need die before this government wakes up to the fact that censoring will never bring about stability and peace in the region?!
The Fat of the Nation
Whereas:
- The general state of physical fitness among Canadians is at an all-time now;
- Child diabetes resulting from malnutrition and deplorable eating habits is at an all-time high;
- Foods that are processed and highly saturated in fats constitute more and more of the typical Canadian's diet;
Les membres de l'Eparlement conviennent sur ce qui suit:
- que le gouvernement fédéral contribue beaucoup plus de fonds pour l'éducation et la promotion en matière de la santé (ex l'entraînement, l'alimentation, etc.)
- que les programmes d'intervention commencent dès la naissance
- que les étudiants universitaires soient obligatoirement inscrits dans des cours qui enseignent le bien-être physique (ex cours de musculation, formation en "cuisine pour les étudiants stressés", etc.)
- que les restaurants qui offrent des sélections "santé" soient recompensés d'une façon ou une autre ...
- The general state of physical fitness among Canadians is at an all-time now;
- Child diabetes resulting from malnutrition and deplorable eating habits is at an all-time high;
- Foods that are processed and highly saturated in fats constitute more and more of the typical Canadian's diet;
Les membres de l'Eparlement conviennent sur ce qui suit:
- que le gouvernement fédéral contribue beaucoup plus de fonds pour l'éducation et la promotion en matière de la santé (ex l'entraînement, l'alimentation, etc.)
- que les programmes d'intervention commencent dès la naissance
- que les étudiants universitaires soient obligatoirement inscrits dans des cours qui enseignent le bien-être physique (ex cours de musculation, formation en "cuisine pour les étudiants stressés", etc.)
- que les restaurants qui offrent des sélections "santé" soient recompensés d'une façon ou une autre ...
Monday, April 24, 2006
Symbolic Inflation
Whereas:
The lowering of the national flag to half mast is the symbolic gesture of national mourning.
The symbolic meaning of November 11 recognizes the sacrifice of all soldiers who have died on the battlefield.
The significance of lowering the nation's flag will be lost over time if it is lowered at moments of individual loss, such as parachute accidents, plane crashes and submarine fires.
The Department of National Defence already has a protocol for lowering NDHQ, base and unit CF ensigns to half-mast upon the death of CF members.
If we had the policy of lowering the flag at every CF member's death in service during WWII, the flag would never have flown at full mast.
Be it resolved:
That the Government of Canada return to a consistent, and non-inflationary, practice of lowering the Canadian flag to half-mast at moments of national mourning following historical protocol.
The lowering of the national flag to half mast is the symbolic gesture of national mourning.
The symbolic meaning of November 11 recognizes the sacrifice of all soldiers who have died on the battlefield.
The significance of lowering the nation's flag will be lost over time if it is lowered at moments of individual loss, such as parachute accidents, plane crashes and submarine fires.
The Department of National Defence already has a protocol for lowering NDHQ, base and unit CF ensigns to half-mast upon the death of CF members.
If we had the policy of lowering the flag at every CF member's death in service during WWII, the flag would never have flown at full mast.
Be it resolved:
That the Government of Canada return to a consistent, and non-inflationary, practice of lowering the Canadian flag to half-mast at moments of national mourning following historical protocol.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Loi sur la créativité dans les discours politiques
Dear Mr. Speaker,
I would like to present a Private Member's Bill to be refered to hereafter as the Law on the Creativity of Political Discourse.
It has come to my attention over the past few months that the present government's propaganda machine is suffering from an appalling case of writers block. The same tired themes have repeatedly found their way into newsprint and public statements, being regurgitated over and over again as to be on the brink of forcing the declaration of a national state of bulimia. In the interests of Canada's collective health, I plead with this House to join me in opposing what will very shortly turn into the newest pandemic of the 21st century: a lack of creativity in public discourse. We must act decisively in this matter before it speads like SARS in Toronto under the misguidance of Mr. Clement, the then Ontario Minister of Health. And if I may be so bold as to preempt the 'Honourable' Prime Minister before he stands to retort, let me say that any response containing the words "former government", "accountability" or "they started it" will be immediately graded 'R' for 'remedial action.' Simply put, Canadians deserve and demand more!
Thank you, Mister Speaker.
I would like to present a Private Member's Bill to be refered to hereafter as the Law on the Creativity of Political Discourse.
It has come to my attention over the past few months that the present government's propaganda machine is suffering from an appalling case of writers block. The same tired themes have repeatedly found their way into newsprint and public statements, being regurgitated over and over again as to be on the brink of forcing the declaration of a national state of bulimia. In the interests of Canada's collective health, I plead with this House to join me in opposing what will very shortly turn into the newest pandemic of the 21st century: a lack of creativity in public discourse. We must act decisively in this matter before it speads like SARS in Toronto under the misguidance of Mr. Clement, the then Ontario Minister of Health. And if I may be so bold as to preempt the 'Honourable' Prime Minister before he stands to retort, let me say that any response containing the words "former government", "accountability" or "they started it" will be immediately graded 'R' for 'remedial action.' Simply put, Canadians deserve and demand more!
Thank you, Mister Speaker.
Model Post
Whereas:
The Sentinel is a film that slows down 24, dumbs down the West Wing, and tries to put the two together in a horrible frankenstein of cinematic buffoonery.
Jack Bauer is still a wicked cool dude, because he can solve murders in less than 30 seconds and make the local cops look like junior high lunch monitors.
The worst ever movie line is said by some agent pointing a gun at Jack Bauer. Jack plays the guy with some mind-melding super-tricks. The guy turns to his partner: "What's the procedure for that?"
The terrorists wear HUGE Canadian flags on their uniforms, in the most obvious place. Thanks for enjoying Toronto, Hollywood.
Jack Bauer's nubile rookie assistant runs around in the field wearing high heels. For someone who speaks four languages, that's dumb.
Be it resolved that:
Jack Bauer concentrate on saving the world through 24, and not The Sentinel. Going to see the Sentinel may be a necessary evil, but it should only be done for national security reasons.
The Sentinel is a film that slows down 24, dumbs down the West Wing, and tries to put the two together in a horrible frankenstein of cinematic buffoonery.
Jack Bauer is still a wicked cool dude, because he can solve murders in less than 30 seconds and make the local cops look like junior high lunch monitors.
The worst ever movie line is said by some agent pointing a gun at Jack Bauer. Jack plays the guy with some mind-melding super-tricks. The guy turns to his partner: "What's the procedure for that?"
The terrorists wear HUGE Canadian flags on their uniforms, in the most obvious place. Thanks for enjoying Toronto, Hollywood.
Jack Bauer's nubile rookie assistant runs around in the field wearing high heels. For someone who speaks four languages, that's dumb.
Be it resolved that:
Jack Bauer concentrate on saving the world through 24, and not The Sentinel. Going to see the Sentinel may be a necessary evil, but it should only be done for national security reasons.
House Rules
Welcome to the E-Parliament. This blog is dedicated to providing an open forum for discussion on any topics of interest to members. An institutional biais towards sharp wit, unconventional thinking, daring assertions, bald lies, terrible jokes, and actual intelligent thinking will be favoured and nurtured by the members who chose to join.
Here are the House Rules:
1. Discussions are initiated by any member, for any reason, on any topic in the form of a Preamble, and a Resolution. New members are always welcome. Email ecopol@hotmail.com with E-Parliament in the subject heading.
2. Pseudonyms are hot. Anonymity is lame.
3. Arrogance must be justified with a note from your mom.
4. Late assignments will be tolerated. Posts are best published between 2 and 3 a.m.
5. This blog will be a means for procrastinating doing important work. Therefore, procrasti-bashing will be ruled out of order.
6. If you think you know everything, you should be a member of this blog.
7. If you think you don't know everything, you should be a member of this blog so that you can learn from the rest of us.
8. Full participation in this blog will considered equivalent to a Master of Arts from Royal Military College.
9. Posting on this site will be considered a legal alibi.
10. This blog is indivisible. Separatist movements will be ruthlessly crushed.
11. Posts are favoured in French or English. Filthy talk must be in a language other than English, French or Spanish, so that nobody catches on.
12. All future rules will be determined by resolution and division by the members of the E-Parliament.
Here are the House Rules:
1. Discussions are initiated by any member, for any reason, on any topic in the form of a Preamble, and a Resolution. New members are always welcome. Email ecopol@hotmail.com with E-Parliament in the subject heading.
2. Pseudonyms are hot. Anonymity is lame.
3. Arrogance must be justified with a note from your mom.
4. Late assignments will be tolerated. Posts are best published between 2 and 3 a.m.
5. This blog will be a means for procrastinating doing important work. Therefore, procrasti-bashing will be ruled out of order.
6. If you think you know everything, you should be a member of this blog.
7. If you think you don't know everything, you should be a member of this blog so that you can learn from the rest of us.
8. Full participation in this blog will considered equivalent to a Master of Arts from Royal Military College.
9. Posting on this site will be considered a legal alibi.
10. This blog is indivisible. Separatist movements will be ruthlessly crushed.
11. Posts are favoured in French or English. Filthy talk must be in a language other than English, French or Spanish, so that nobody catches on.
12. All future rules will be determined by resolution and division by the members of the E-Parliament.
