E-Parliament

Proceedings of Government Motion 7 (Prolongation of Mission in Afghanistan) - PASSED

In view of the 6-hour debate in the House of Commons and the final vote of 149 / 145 in favour of the resolution, the members of the E-parliament are called to hear evidence and vote in favour or in opposition of the following three points of order:

1. Political Weakness in the Opposition (or "How Christmas Came Early this Year for Stephen Harper")

- Whereas:
--> the only real bit of new information that came out of today's debate was that there is a glaring bipolarity of opinion within the Liberal party;
--> much of the evening was dominated by the Liberals finding themselves in the familiar position of defending former governments, with suprisingly little discussion over the actual prolongation of the mission or the nature of the decision making-process ("the Devil is in the detail", or so the expression goes);
--> Bill Graham, Official Leader of the Opposition, spent the significant portion of the evening telling the Conservative government exactly how to convince him to make a decision that he had clearly already made;

- Be it resolved that:
* Mr. Graham, aside from all the respect to which he would normally be entitled, be replaced by a tape recording of announcements made on Air Canada flights (one of the only places in Canada besides Parliament that you'll find anything that comes close to being bilingual) - example: "Bienvenue chez Air Canada, Welcome to Air Canada. Veuillez consulter le dépliant dans le siège devant vous - Please consult the brochure in the seat in front of you."

** The new leader of the Liberal Party come from another country other than Canada as apparently the current options are not up to par. Alternatively, I would like to announce my candidature for the leadership of the Liberal Party. Donations may be made at any branch of ...


2. The New Opposition (or "How Duceppe and Layton Learned to Stop Hating and Started to Rage Against the Machine")

- Whereas:
--> members of the Conservative party repeatedly refered to M. Duceppe as 'Leader of the Opposition";
--> the comments made in M. Duceppe's first speech / "question" were much more in line with what opposition comments should sound like ... i.e. OPPOSE ... OPPOSITION ... debates, after all, are for asking questions, are they not?

- Be it resolved that:
* Mr. Graham abdicate his position as Official Leader of the Opposition and a leadership race be immediately initiated to find his replacement. (Noticing a common theme here?)

** The NDP and the Bloc merge to form a new political party. This would create a new strong voice for the left-centric movement in Canadian politics and actually lead to some more projets de lois being passed into law! (i.e. Kyoto ... need I say more?)


3. The Rebirth of Peter MacKay (or "Did Anyone Else Know He Could Speak ... English?")

- Whereas:
--> in a shocking turnaround, Mr. MacKay actually gave evidence that he has something other to offer than his looks (selon les animatrices de Radio Canada ... but I digress);
--> his answers, in stark contrast to his colleagues of the Conservative government, actually managed to fall somewhere within the realm of the original questions asked;
--> his professionalism was more indicative of an experienced politician as opposed to the slack-jawed yowkle that his department has managed to make him out to be;

- Be it resolved that:
* Mr. MacKay take French lessons (for the last time, 'an' is a VOYELLE NASALE!!!!!!), get some support behind him (apparently he need look no further than the two female MPs sitting behind him in the House), overthrow the government, and run as leader of the Conservatives in the next election (anything to get rid of Hitl ... Harper)

** A committee be convened to mould and shape Mr. MacKay into the great political leader that he has the potential to one day become ...